nervous when I talk to a girlThe Summa Theologica is downright amazing when describing how things really go down inside your head. According to Aquinas, when our “passions” (the part of the emotion you feel in your body) get going it hampers our ability to think and make decisions. Psychologists call this phenomenon an “amygdala hijack”.

When you’re in the presence of anything you fear, your body starts preparing itself for a life and death struggle, a place where you don’t need to think because you don’t have time, where your entire physiology is gearing itself towards getting you to safety. And come on, don’t we all feel fear talking to a beautiful woman? Nervousness, and, if you admit it to yourself, fear of what you’ll think of yourself if she does shut you down, the real cause of “fear of rejection”.

I mean it makes a kind of sense, who hasn’t been rejected by a woman, and immediately felt a tinge of despair, I mean, thoughts like “Well of course she doesn’t want me either”. Your mind sees things clearly even if you can’t verbalize it, if you think a course of action is leading you towards feelings of embarassment and despair, of course you’re going to get nervous, of course you’re going to want to get out of there, or not approach a girl at all.

So, what’s the solution? A bunch of cheesy self affirmations? “Positive Thinking” perhaps? You know the sort of thing that happens, people tell you that if you just think things will turn out right they will, but you also know the first time it doesn’t turn out right your belief in “Positive Thinking” falls apart, and you’re left feeling just as alone and desperate as before, probably worse.

But there is something you can do. There are some things you can learn. Aquinas discusses this very issue, of how a man can show bravery even when his “passions” are shutting him down.

What do you need to know and do to get this handled? More tips at

woman arent practice#1  There is a temptation to view “getting better with women” as a skill, in the same sense that kicking a football is a skill.

Women are human beings. They have desires and dreams just like the rest of us. Using a woman that you have no real interest in as a test subject for getting better at this “skill” is wrong. In the old days they used to call it leading someone on. Don’t make romantic advances towards a woman in a way that does not reflect what you truly intend. She does not exist for you to use her as a stepping stone towards someone you really do want. This is not to say that you shouldn’t talk to a woman unless you are interested in her. You should try to talk to as many people as possible, but if it is not right, then don’t take it further.

#2 Follow your conscience. If anything I recommend on this page contradicts a moral conviction of yours, don’t think it is “necessary”, and don’t follow it. You may want to research your conviction to see if it is true, but nothing is worth a bad conscience.

#3 Use your head. No advice relieves you of your duty to think. Now there is thinking and there is thinking. “Take 3 Steps” doesn’t mean walking towards a bridesmaid during a wedding ceremony! An exaggeration, but I think you get the point.

#4 Don’t be afraid to step away and come back later. Getting immersed in learning about human relationships is easy to do. It’s fascinating and it is fun. But don’t just keep pressing on, a good rule of thumb is that if you’re getting more and more tired while researching, it’s time to stop for a little while.

great selection of male health products. German + Spanish site. — Gravatar of Potenz Europa – one of Europes leading health sites. – all the social profiles here. – great updates here.

#5 Take all of this as serious as necessary, and no more so! You can’t stop mistakes from happening, and you shouldn’t let fear of mistakes keep you from doing anything. Try to keep perspective, as CS Lewis talks about in the Screwtape Letters, we are all subject to the “law of undulation”, energy, interest, and ability are not static or linear.


Phone NumberThis qualifies as a “rule of thumb”, which means there may be some times where this does not apply.

If you’ve gotten to hello and had a good interaction, it is best to set up a date right then and there. This is also one of the few times where having some concrete plan beforehand is a good idea. Suggest dinner, coffee, walk in the park, whatever, and set up a date and time. Asking for her phone number flows naturally, so you can coordinate.

This is a solid idea for several reasons. First, it robs the whole “getting the digits” thing of formality. It makes it easier for her to give you her phone number. Next, if you set a date and time, you can cut down on the irritating problem of getting a girl’s phone number, only to have her never pick up. You probably won’t completely get rid of this problem, but the “flake rate” will start trending down.

<iframe width=”260″ height=”115″ src=”” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>

This is also a good “leading” behavior, and can communicate decisiveness. You also are seeing how “serious” she is about you, giving her a chance to say no. So on that level it’s also a great time and effort saving device.

An extra word about “fear” since that seems to be the dominant experience holding most men who have trouble dating back. I know that when I first started, actually talking to girls was a big enough step, and I  didn’t usually take it to the next step.

Aquinas makes a distinction between two kinds of fear, a rational fear, the kind of thing that keeps you from walking out into traffic, and irrational fear. Irrational fear is, generally, when you let a fear of a small thing overwhelm your pursuit of a greater thing. This is why we admire courage, if there was nothing to fear it wouldn’t be that laudable.

You don’t have to “feel” brave to “be” brave,

Maintain a a healthy sexual relationship – click here for more information



A healthy relationship is built based on trust and also honesty, being honest and truthful to your partner is also another way of giving each other a secure feelings and also trust whenever your partner is not around. So remember to apply these two things in your relationship, never lie and be yourself.


There are some areas that you can start by being honest to each other, now here are some of the areas to explore.

1. Plans and Objectives. Before your relationship becoming more serious, it’s important to see if you both have the same plans for the future. Stable relations were damaged over time because partners have not talked openly about what they want in the future, so if you think seriously talked candidly about what you want. Perhaps you want a more open relationship, and to meets other swingers on websites such as Pearl tree.

2. Money. In a period in which the financial aspect is a problem, the subject of money is really essential for a couple. There should be no secrets about the size of your wallet. I know that money is a very sensitive thing to discuss, but I’ve seen many relationships were torn apart because there was no honesty regarding how much you earn, spend, save and all these problems could lead into many kind of arguments even an affair, so you really need to clear things up about this money issue with your partner and no secrets. Remember that money is certainly not everything in life, but it is important.

3. Sex. They say that sex is not the most important element in a relationship, but that does not mean is not significant. If something goes wrong for any of you, then you need to discuss this with your partner. I know that It is always embarrassing to talk about sex, but if you really love your partner then you’d want her/him to be happy and also save right? Also in a future, if you want to have children then you should talk about any issues regarding your sex life with your partner, don’t be shy and just be opened.

4. Work. Stress at work will follow you home. Even if you try to keep your worries aside a terrible day at work is reflected in the attitude you have when you get home. Should you talk to your lover about the problems they encounter because if you do not, you might like to explode at some point. It can often be a good idea to relax with a massage.

5. Bad habits. A small number of bad habits can cause substantial damage to the couple. And you have to tell your lover what bothers you and what ticks may correct them. At the same time, you have to be prepared to hear that you’re not perfect either.

Talk to your lover about the things you expect from him and from your life as a couple. Give him a chance to know you as you are and do not let him create a wrong impression about you, because the truth will come out soon or later.

We all know the laundry list of what women say they like in men, “confidence, “funny”, etc. And the truth is that this is actually pretty accurate, women do like these things.

Unfortunately it’s also true that trying to be confident and funny leads to a man bombing nine times out of ten. Knowing why women say these things, and why your attempts fail, however can lead you to the key to creating instant real attraction to women. Not knowing why is the root of the problem that most men when they try to “be what women want” and end up crashing and burning.

Women aren’t being dishonest. They really do like confident, funny men. The thing is, confident, funny behaviors are “secondary”. They are the side effects of the primal qualities of the naturally attractive man. He acts confident because he is strong and courageous, and that strength and courage creates changes in his body language and personal style which women label confidence. He says humorous things, because he is relaxed and secure, the same way it’s always easier to be funny around your friends, you are relaxed and secure with them.

What Women Say

This is also why attempts to be confident or funny fail when you directly pursue them. When you go after side effects instead of primal principles, you come off as “macho”, posturing inauthentic masculinity, or “clownish”, humor that stems from a desire to be liked more than anything else.

Most of what concerns us are really the secondary effects of the major choices that we make. Thoughts present themselves to our minds and we validate or invalidate them based on our real principles, leading to action or inaction. A man who postures at manliness is a man who has validated the idea that he is not a man, but has to pretend to be to get what he wants. A man who is really confident has validated the idea that he is a man and doesn’t need to posture.

The concrete steps you can take are as follows. Courage is present in all of us a little bit. We have all done brave things, even if they were only little brave things. We know how to be courageous. But courage is like a muscle, to get stronger, you have to use it. Every time a fearful thought presents itself to your mind, their reaches a point, where you can make a deliberate choice to either validate that thought, accept it as genuine, or invalidate it, not let it be a factor. And we all know when a fear is big enough to legitimately change our actions, nobody feels guilty about not walking into traffic. It is the illegitimate fears that nail us, that weaken our strength, cause us to feel guilty and think ill of ourselves.

Every fear is like an object being presented to you, in your mind,  regardless of your feelings, you also know whether it should cause you to change course or not. Fear of a girl you don’t know not liking you is total nonsense. So, you can validate it, and get the bonus prizes of shame, guilt, and regret, or you can invalidate it, with the added bonuses of increased strength and confidence.

No one can make this decision for you, which is kind of like being a man,

xtian DatingNot what you think;

How many girls have you asked out? How many straight nos have you received?

Back in college I asked out a string of girls, big string, tried to ask one a day for a while and learned several things.

1.) A girl will give her number to a stray dog.

2.) You can tell a girl wasn’t interested if she doesn’t pick up her phone, or you receive a call from her boyfriend.

3.) If a girl gives you a straight no, thank her, she just refrained from wasting your time.

I went through the full scenario at a conservative estimate at thirty times. Pretty frustrating, but the good that came out of it was that it made me dedicated to understanding the whole issue of men and women.

Here’s the deal, women are human beings. Being human, just like the rest of us, they want to avoid hurting someone’s feelings and avoid confrontation. It’s a lot easier to just give a guy your number (interestingly enough I never received a fake number, she just didn’t pick up), than to give him a straight no and risk a conversation where a guy demands she explain why she won’t go out with him. Not a pleasant prospect.

At first I was angry, stayed angry for a while. The worst part was hopes being raised by getting a phone number, and then being dashed. Again and again. And Again. When a girl gave me a straight no after fifteen flakes I verbally thanked her for not wasting my time.

The fact of the matter is things are a lot more complicated than they were in my father’s day. According to him the standard sequence was, you asked a girl out, she said yes or no, if she said no you acted like a man and moved on. If she said yes and after a few dates declined again, you acted like a man and moved on. Saved women the unnecessary experience of having to justify herself and saved men from a lack of clarity. Not so now.

What’s the solution? Get better with women in general. The more attraction you generate on the front end, the more likely she is to pick up, and I tell you it feels great when you finally hear that voice on the other end of the line.

Next, accept it for what it is. If a girl doesn’t pick up, leave a message, ask her to respond, if she doesn’t move on. Don’t take it too hard if it doesn’t go your way. If she isn’t straight with you, it’s not a serious failing. Don’t get angry, don’t get bitter, it’s just the rules of the game as it stands. If it happens a few times, no big deal luck of the draw.

If it happens thirty times in a row, check for a whole in your game. Move forward, get feedback, adjust course. Don’t overthink, don’t underthink, remember your principles. As long as you move forward and adjust based on feedback it will get better.

Find out why people prefer a younger partner – here!

On a gut level we all know that if we don’t have real hope about something, we can’t move forward to getting it. We know that real hope, the belief that something good is going to come our way, is kind of the fuel of real courage, real guts. I also know that a lot of my attempts to impress women failed because I didn’t really think I had a shot, but was just going through the motions. That’s why finding out that a girl likes you beforehand makes it A LOT easier to “be cool” around her. You have hope, so you take heart and charge in, because you know that the risk is small.

This is why it seems difficult to have better social skills with women in general. If you’re talking to a girl that you don’t know you’re flying blind with regard to whether or not she likes you. And, I know it was true for me, that I had a general attitude that the cards were stacked against me. I also didn’t think that there was anything I could really do, not really, to change myself.

Why did I think this way? Because I felt it. Somewhere along the way I picked up enough bad experiences to implant the idea in my mind and the feeling in my body that, hey, you know you’re not good enough. There are only two opinions in the world you can never escape from, God’s opinion of you, and your opinion of yourself. So, my opinion was no good.

Get the Woman You Really WantSaying that you have to get success first, to believe that you are capable of attracting women is backwards. If you don’t start out believing “I am good enough”, then you won’t get success, or, if you do, you’ll still feel like a fraud. But, the good news is that if you come from this place of hopelessness, you don’t have to stay there.

The key is to get your beliefs in line with reality. The fact that you have free will, that you can make better decisions, learn new skills, is a fact. Read bios of people who’ve turned their lives around. Look for success stories. Look at the Bible, where people are consistently blessed by God for doing right, and reproved for doing wrong. God is not cruel, I don’t believe He is harsh on people for things that are beyond their control. I also don’t think He’s arbitrary, He blesses people who please Him, and what they do to please Him is under their control. But, it’s a fact that gets sidelined in the face of bad emotions and memories of past failures.

“Manliness” is a virtue, it’s the chief thing that is attractive to women and is heavily under our control. The key exercise is, when faced with a memory of past failure, or bad emotions about interacting with women, is to consciously reject it as untrue that you can’t do better. Then act like you can do better. Course correct.  A little courage, and you’ll find you feel better about yourself and your prospects almost instanteously.It may be a while before your feelings and beliefs  consistently (every time) coincide with each other, where you not only improve, but feel great about the process (and positive emotions shine through to women, very attractive), but it’s a nearly inevitable result.

Small steps towards acting by by the truth, and rejecting hopelessness not only as unpleasant, but as false, will reap some of the biggest rewards in your relationships with women, perhaps more than anything else. It’s foundational.



Are free dating sites worth the time and effort of registering and uploading a profile? This is a question many people ask when looking for love online.

Online dating is a great way to meet someone when you find yourself single, but which site is best? There are hundreds to choose from, sites to cover every niche. The biggest decision is whether to opt for a paid dating site or a free site.

Premium dating websites such as and E-Harmony can work very well, but the sign up cost is often very high. In some cases the member will sign up and have difficulty in cancelling membership. The premium sites claim to have a better more serious database of members and so your chances of meeting Mr or Mrs Right is higher than that of a free dating site. This is not necessarily the case though, there is no written or proven rule that indicates whether a paid dating site is more fruitful than a free one.

Dating Sites

With free dating sites such as Free UK Dating Site, the members can register for free, same as Match etc, but they have access to more features and the pressure is not so high to sign up and part with cash to use the site to its full potential.

Most site should allow you to browse for free, but some paid sites do actually have a limit to how many profiles you can view in one day, they will also no longer allow you to wink for free. The free wink feature is extremely useful when browsing potential partners. The reason being that you can gauge if the person you’re viewing is also interested in you, by winking back. If you get a wink.. it’s likely you will have an email back should you choose to register fully and email that person. Not always the case but quite often.

How do Free dating sites make their money though? Well, many make their money from hooking you in, once you start receiving interest then it’s worth registering fully to capitalise on your previous encounters. This then generates revenue for the dating site, the other way in which free dating sites make money is from selling the database of members. Data is big business and unfortunately if you have signed up to a dating site it is likely that sign up will be worth money further down the line, you just need to make sure that you read the terms and conditions before you join and not part with any unnecessary personal information. One free dating site which will ask for additional information is Plenty of, they ask for the number and age of siblings in your family and you must fill this in to use the website. They also use raunchy sexual adverts which lead to premium sites.

In all, any dating site which has a good and up to date selection of members is worth a try, but free dating sites will probably leave you feeling less frustrated if you don’t have much luck.

Dating sites in Spain are increasingly popular. Potenz España is one of the leading providers for male health supplement and dating products in the the country. Naturally, the products are not free.

Looking on social networks can be a great way to find what other people think about certain topics.

What is what is looking for a man in a younger woman? What is a woman looking for a man younger than her? “By launching this question, we would say of say input and point blank what the older man seeks to feel young and powerful and seeks a representation of social success.” And the young woman can find a father figure or one greater stability or even a maturity that she didn’t find at her own age. ,”responds Delfina Miéville, sociologist, sexologist, and agent of equality. However, they have a gender bias. And this, in turn, adds a cultural bias: “we are a more aging society, but at the same time we are younger (30 is the new 20). This is the demand of modernity: be productive longer.


In this way, and this social framework in the background, extrapolated to relationships, we are to understand, explains Miéville, healthy relationships have, among their many conditions to be equal. That is, there are no power relations among its members. Currently, adds Bolinches, women already does not seek both the protection of man, but instead the man, as a general rule, still looking for the comfortable relationship. Man, he says, want, normally, be it the admired. This is what most men we interviewed said.

The man generally, starting at age 45-50, indicates Coronado, have a need of reaffirming, and looking for relationships so in younger people. For its part, the women at that age, the need to reassert itself is given by the fact of the conquest itself, therefore age do not have so much to do in this case. Their self-esteem is reinforced on the basis of the conquest. And not so much sex as the men. But, insists, this does not always have to be to
On our German blog on matters regard to sexual health please go to:
Of-course, nudism is unlikely to solve these problems on their own. But it can be a great way to network.


Now think about it, what is the one thing lots of couples are concerned about? Will he/she run off and leave me for another person? Commonly affairs occur when one partner is seeking something which is lacking in their relationship. A lot of times this is simply some sexual excitement. Face it, if we don’t learn some new tricks this dog is going to get old. When you have sex with someone else you basically have no option but to spark things up. They will have their own sexual “tricks” to teach you which will generate some ideas of your very own.


What Swinging Is Not?

Wife-swapping, which is such a sexist phrase that implies both inequality and power over the lady partner. You absolutely need to understand that in spite of what you may have heard, women and men are equally as sexual. This is very obvious with swingers. So it is a mutual understanding amid swinging couples to get rid of their inhibitions and really enjoy their sexuality with another person.

Swinging is also not “cheating”. How can you be cheating if your spouse is right there with you? Swingers don’t venture out behind each others’ back searching for sexual trysts. They would rather experience things in each other’s company with absolute trust that they are a couple and their bond is stronger since they are able to share everything with each other.


Why Swing?

Besides the apparent motive of better sexual pleasure, and obviously the excitement, swinging is very stimulating, many people find the regular world so woefully sad and boring after getting started. I have heard swinging referred to as RECESS for adults. In school, recess for youngsters is a lot more important than people realize–not for all the old reasons: fresh air, relaxation, exercise–but for an even vital reason: it gives children a chance to bond in a real way with their friends and other kids by playing. As kids get older, they take recesses away just a little at a time until by high school they have no time to play and thus no time to connect with other people in a meaningful way. By the time we are full grown, we are totally disconnected from our fellow human beings, leaving us anxious, lethargic, and dreadfully lonely (and willing to settle for just about anybody because we are so desperate to feel reconnected). The lifestyle is the antidote to so much of that! It’s recess for grown-ups. Then after recess we can return to pulling the wagon and not moan too much about it.

With increasing work pressure and less time for recreational activities to get rejuvenate; there is a rise in demand for local swingers. People can contact them and call them or take them wherever they want to have best of time in bed and feel relax. But many people do not get indulge in foreplay and directly jump into penetration, which is not right way of take pleasure out of this heavenly act. Sex is all about giving complete time to your partner, in which both partners feel completely lost in each other, they become irresistible for each other, and after this when they feel each other, that feeling is awesome, simply out of the world and a heavenly feeling.

People believe that sex must be, can only be, romantic and so attach a great deal of earnestness to the experience. Local swingers are there for people to make them feel importance of this gift of god, they are into this business, because they want to experience everything of sex and this thought of them makes some people motivate to fulfill their dream desires of sex and feel best out of it. Thus, if you are also opting for swinger, you are on right track for a better life in terms of relaxation and fulfillment of your under cover desires.