What Women Say They Like is “Secondary”

We all know the laundry list of what women say they like in men, “confidence, “funny”, etc. And the truth is that this is actually pretty accurate, women do like these things.

Unfortunately it’s also true that trying to be confident and funny leads to a man bombing nine times out of ten. Knowing why women say these things, and why your attempts fail, however can lead you to the key to creating instant real attraction to women. Not knowing why is the root of the problem that most men when they try to “be what women want” and end up crashing and burning.

Women aren’t being dishonest. They really do like confident, funny men. The thing is, confident, funny behaviors are “secondary”. They are the side effects of the primal qualities of the naturally attractive man. He acts confident because he is strong and courageous, and that strength and courage creates changes in his body language and personal style which women label confidence. He says humorous things, because he is relaxed and secure, the same way it’s always easier to be funny around your friends, you are relaxed and secure with them.

What Women Say

This is also why attempts to be confident or funny fail when you directly pursue them. When you go after side effects instead of primal principles, you come off as “macho”, posturing inauthentic masculinity, or “clownish”, humor that stems from a desire to be liked more than anything else.

Most of what concerns us are really the secondary effects of the major choices that we make. Thoughts present themselves to our minds and we validate or invalidate them based on our real principles, leading to action or inaction. A man who postures at manliness is a man who has validated the idea that he is not a man, but has to pretend to be to get what he wants. A man who is really confident has validated the idea that he is a man and doesn’t need to posture.

The concrete steps you can take are as follows. Courage is present in all of us a little bit. We have all done brave things, even if they were only little brave things. We know how to be courageous. But courage is like a muscle, to get stronger, you have to use it. Every time a fearful thought presents itself to your mind, their reaches a point, where you can make a deliberate choice to either validate that thought, accept it as genuine, or invalidate it, not let it be a factor. And we all know when a fear is big enough to legitimately change our actions, nobody feels guilty about not walking into traffic. It is the illegitimate fears that nail us, that weaken our strength, cause us to feel guilty and think ill of ourselves.

Every fear is like an object being presented to you, in your mind,  regardless of your feelings, you also know whether it should cause you to change course or not. Fear of a girl you don’t know not liking you is total nonsense. So, you can validate it, and get the bonus prizes of shame, guilt, and regret, or you can invalidate it, with the added bonuses of increased strength and confidence.

No one can make this decision for you, which is kind of like being a man,

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